Don’t do it, Guys

I’ve been on POF for a few months now, and I’ve noticed that some things that SHOULD be common sense apparently aren’t. Guys put all kinds of things on their dating profiles that turn girls away, and then they wonder why nobody ever responds to their messages. In some cases, it may be that they just aren’t attracted to you. In that case, some natural lighting and bangin’ photoshop might do the trick. If not, I don’t know what to tell ya.

The truth is that online dating is alot like window shopping. We scroll through tons of profiles, clicking “No,” I would not like to meet you, until we come across someone who catches our eye. This may not always be due to your level of attractiveness, though.

I remember messaging a guy once because one of his pictures made me laugh. He was trying to be funny, and it worked! Anyone who can make me laugh with a picture or their first message is worth giving a chance to in my book, regardless of their physical appearance.

So in this post, I’d like to start with the pictures, since listing everything you shouldn’t do in one post would make for a VERY long post….

So here are the picture that you should DEFINITELY NOT post on your dating profile:

1. Well fuck you too!
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I don’t know why any guy would ever think that flicking girls off that you’re potentially trying to date is a good idea, but let me assure you, it’s not. You want us to answer your messages, yet your profile picture says “Fuck off.” And we’re the ones sending mixed signals…

2. Creepy shirtless caveman mathematician? I’d tap that.
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This was definitely one of the creepiest pictures I have ever seen. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a legit profile, judging from the picture and the information that was on the profile, but nonetheless makes my point. Staring creepily into the camera is never a good idea. It makes us feel like you’re staring into our soul, and in case you were wondering, we’d like to keep our soul to ourselves. Thank you.

3. Say cheeeeese!!
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Groups shots of you and your friends are cute,but not for your profile picture. We’re here to date you,not you and your friends. Also, if there’s a picture of all your friends,and then I go to your other pictures and I like your friend better, that should give me the right to message you and ask for his number. After all,you put him on a dating website. He should be up for grabs too! 😉

4. Guess what’s for dinner again?!
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As I mentioned in my previous post,we don’t want to see you with tonight’s dinner. No girl is going to look at this picture and go “OMG he killed a (insert animal here)!! He must be a great hunter and will provide for my family. I must marry him!” No guys…..just no. You and 50 other guys like to go fishin, muddin,and huntin. Get a little more creative. We’re not in 6500 BC looking for a big man to kill prey for dinner.

5. I own a car.
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Sometimes,it makes me wonder whether you guys are on there trying to impress men or women. I mean, you post a picture of your truck/car….or 2…or 3 pictures. You list your interests as fishing, muddin,and hunting. We don’t care! And to be quite honest,in some cases,I’d rather date your car than date you. Just a disclaimer: If your car looks better than you, it’s considered your competition. That’s one sexy son of a bitch,and you’re…well…not.

6. Smiling with my….niece.
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Kids don’t belong on a dating profile unless they are your own. If I see a profile picture of you with a kid,I will automatically assume it’s yours. And when I see that your profile says you don’t have kids, then you’re giving off the wrong impression. Sure,we’d like to see that you like kids,but not on your profile picture. And I can only imagine how upset the mother would be if she found out her little girl was plastered on a dating website with her great uncle Harry.

7. Shirtless AND downward angle! We’ve got a double wammy here folks!
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This guy hit 2 birds with one stone here. First of all, shirtless pics make you look like a douchebag jock. If you’re not going for that look,then don’t post half naked pictures of yourself. Especially if your body is BARELY a 5….just don’t do it. No,we don’t want to see your jelly rolls. Secondly, taking pictures from down below is not a flattering angle for anyone. It makes you look disproportionate and just highlights everything you don’t want highlighted. I see alot of guys doing this,especially with upclose pictures. No,we don’t want to see what’s up your nose,in case you were wondering.

Some advice? Take pictures from a straight on or even upward angle. Keep your clothes on. And would it kill you to smile?!

That’s all I have for you tonight guys. Hopefully you learned some things,and if you’re guilty of any of these pics,you should probably take them down. Just sayin.

3 responses to “Don’t do it, Guys

  1. Why not give Triangle Man a shot? I just spit my wine all over my Mac upon seeing/reading this (especially him). Thank you. Thank you. It’s been a rough day.

  2. This is HILARIOUS! I love it. Also, Triangle Man needs to be in a horror movie… if that isn’t where he already came from

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