Tag Archives: dating

Bye Bye, POF!

I deleted my Plenty of Fish profile last night.

I feel like I found everything I was looking for and so much more. I no longer felt the need to keep it.

I made 2 best friends from the site. I met alot of different guys. I went on a few dates. One was GREAT! The others, not so much. The profile has completely and fully served its purpose. I wanted to see what else is out there, apart from my small little world. And I did. I met alot of interesting people, some creepy ones, and some that just downright disgusted me.

I even met a guy. A guy that will hopefully soon be my boyfriend…but I don’t want to jinx it. So you shall hear more about him within the next month or so. He is one of the main reasons why I deleted my profile.

I kept on getting at least 10 messages from guys every day, and I never replied to them anymore. I didn’t see the point. I found a guy that I want to be with. I made 2 best friends. What’s the point of going on more dates or meeting more people? I already have everything I want and more.

So goodbye POF. I won’t be needing you anymore. It was fun while it lasted. Thank you for all the experiences, entertaining conversations, and interesting people I’ve met. I would definitely recommend this site to anyone. Try it out. And my best piece of advice would be:

Give the guys a chance!

I would’ve never found my two best friends if I hadn’t replied to their messages, despite the fact that I wasn’t attracted to them. I know that online dating is a lot of window shopping, but try not to be so shallow. That guy that made you laugh or intrigued you with his profile, but wasn’t the best looking guy in the world. Give him a chance. What’s the worst that can happen?

I’m a Screamer.

This post was inspired by this post that I read last night from Noyoupay’s blog.

Sex is the one time where people should be able to freely let go and express themselves. It’s the only time that you can scream at the top of your lungs from sweet, orgasmic pleasure and have a man completely turned on by it.

I used to try to hold it back and be quiet, especially in my teen years when we’d have to sneak around and be quite so nobody could hear us. But now, I say fuck that! If you’re hitting it in all the right places and I’m enjoying it, you’ll know about it! There haven’t been too many guys that have been able to get me to fully orgasm and scream, but the ones that have were pure sexual bliss! If I’ve learned anything from my FWB encounter, it’s that sex can be completely and utterly fulfilling and I don’t have to hold back. If I’m enjoying myself, I’ll moan, talk dirty to you, and scream at the top of my lungs when you get me to climax. I’ve never had a guy complain about any of those things. Most actually get more turned on by it.

Guys also shouldn’t hold back their orgasm or climax. I’d rather have a guy who moans or grunts or….SOMETHING rather than a guy who is completely quite and calm during his climax. Some guys make a whole event of their climax, grunting and coughing and cussing. That makes me think “Damn, he definitely enjoyed that!” Just like us screaming turns you on, you making some kind of noise insinuating that you’re enjoying it turn us on too. And the weak collapse at the end is priceless. Nothing like being completely drained of energy after a couple of hours of going at it.

Sex is like no other feeling in the world. It’s a high and a sensation that you can’t compare to anything else. And if you can’t fully let go and enjoy yourself, then what’s the point? It will never be completely fulfilling until you can learn what makes your body tremble and yearn for more, and until you can let go of all the thoughts and doubts in your mind and just fuck and enjoy it. As adults, we don’t have alot of time where we’re not thinking or stressing about one thing or another. Sex is one of the few experiences where we should be able to relax and let our body take over instead of our mind. So next time you’re getting your freak on, moan, scream, whisper dirty things in your partner’s ear and I promise you it’ll be the best sex you’ve ever had.

Friends with Benefits

Over the past 5 months, I’ve had a fwb (friend with benefits) that felt more like a relationship than anything else. I met him in class at my university, and we started texting all day and night for about a week. Then, somewhere along the lines of texting and talking all the time, we started talking about how much we liked each other and how we both didn’t want a relationship, so we decided to be fwb. I went on vacation for 10 days, and when I got back, we hooked up. It was the best sex of my life! He was everything I’ve ever wanted in man. He was independent, had his own place, his own car, ex-military, and he was in college. Muscular, sexy as fuck, total sweetheart. What more could I ask for?

Over the course of those 5 months, we spent alot of time together. We ate lunch together almost every day. We texted constantly, sometimes even Skyped at night before bed. We called each other baby and sweetie and all the other cute relationship shit. It began to feel like we were in a relationship. Sure, we both agreed that we didn’t want one, but feelings change. Except my feelings changed, and his didn’t. I ended up falling in love with him, and wanting to be with him, and he still didn’t want a relationship. It bothered me, but the sex was amazing and I enjoyed his company, so I kept talking to him and seeing him.

Then, within the past couple of weeks,he began to be really distant from me. We rarely talked, he wouldn’t come to class sometimes, and he always made up excuses as to why he coudn’t hang out. I knew that things were changing between us and that this fwb relationship wouldn’t last much longer, but I didn’t know why. I had been talking to other guys and dating for a few months now, basically after I realized that him and I weren’t going anywhere, but that never really seemed to bother him. I figured if I found somebody that I liked and that I wanted to be with, I would just end things with him and start a relationship with the new guy.

Well, about a week ago, I finally found out why he has been so distant lately. Why we’ve been drifting apart. Why he never wanted to hang out anymore. Why he didn’t want to have sex on his birthday.

“Fwb has changed his status to in a relationship”

This is what popped up on my newsfeed on Facebook when I woke up one morning. I was confused, hurt, and angry. How could he possibly be in a relationship when he has been telling me that he doesn’t want one all along?! I decided the mature thing to do was to confront him via texting instead of calling him out on his bullshit on Facebook for the world to see. Sure, he was an asshole, but I didn’t want to be a bitch.

This is how our texting conversation went:

So you’re in a relationship now?

Yeah I’m sorry

That’s fucked up. You should’ve told me that you didn’t want a relationship with ME instead of saying you don’t want a relationship. I feel like you’ve been using me all along.

Using you for what? You didn’t give me anything. I’m sorry but I was totally honest with you from the beginning about how I felt. I know it may seem messed up to you, but it’s the truth and now you know.

Using me for sex. If you never wanted to be with me, you should’ve said so. I always thought that you just didn’t want a relationship with ANYBODY, not just me. And I feel like it’s messed up because you know that I’ve wanted to be with you for a while now, and now you’re in a relationship with somebody else. Like….what? That’s fucked up.

I wasn’t using you for sex. I never asked for it, you always wanted me to do it (Total bullshit. He asked for it and initiated it almost every time). I’m sorry you feel that way, I tried to be a better person to you than that.

I just feel hurt because I had no idea that you’ve even been talking to somebody else this whole time. I just didn’t see this coming. I know we’ve been drifting apart lately, but I didn’t know why. So I guess this is why you haven’t been wanting to see me or talk to me lately. You should’ve just been honest with me and told me you were seeing somebody else.

Well you saw people too. You went on dates and you didn’t tell me. It’s not like I wanted to know, but you can’t be mad at me for something that you were doing also. I’m just sayin…

I did that because I was trying to move on from you. Because you didn’t want to be with me, and I knew that this wouldn’t last forever, so that’s why I was doing it. You still knew about it though. If you wanted to be with me, I would’ve never even talked to any other guys. So what was it about me that made you not want to be with me?

I didn’t know about it. You were trying so hard to make me jealous, putting it in my face….you’re just not right for me. It has nothing to do with you. You’re a great person and you have guys that want to be with you. You’re going to be okay.

Sure okay. Well, I hope this new chick makes you happy and that she’s everything you’ve ever wanted…and everything I couldn’t be.

And that was the last time I talked to him. I realize now after reading it that I was really emotional and I probably could’ve handled the situation better, but I was angry and I was hurt and it took every ounce of my being not to cuss him out. It’s been almost 2 weeks since this conversation, and I still can’t bring myself to delete him from Facebook or unfollow him on Instagram. It still hurts like hell knowing that the guy I fell for is with another girl now. He’s fucking another girl. God that thought is heart wrenching all on it’s own.

I don’t think about him as much as I used to, and I’m getting over this whole fucked up situation and moving on, but every night, or every time I see a status update or a picture he posted, it hurts. I wish that he would’ve just told me that he didn’t want to be with ME from the beginning. Not wanting a relationship is one thing. Not wanting a relationship with a particular person is different, and I feel that he should’ve been more straight up with me about that and told me. I don’t know if all fwb relationships eventually end this way. I guess it depends on the situation and the circumstances. But from this experience, I learned that if a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, then he’s either not interested or just wants to hook up and it’s not going to lead to anything more than fwb. I wouldn’t mind having another fwb if there is a potential that it could lead to something more than that, but I think that I shouldn’t have sex with the guy until I’m clear on exactly what it is that he wants from me. If it’s just sex, fine. Just say so. If it could potentially be more than that, great. Say so. Just be straight up with me about exactly what it is that you want.

Sorry about this long, depressing post. I just needed to vent. I promise my next post will be back to crackin’ you guys up in no time.

Do you think he was wrong for not telling me he didn’t want to be with ME? Do you think I overreacted or that I could’ve handled this situation better? Have you ever had a fwb?

POF vs. OkCupid

So I made an account on OkCupid 2 days ago to check it out and see how it compares to POF. So far,I’ve noticed that the guys on there aren’t NEARLY as attractive as the ones on POF. I wanted to give it a few days before I judged,but after scrolling through a few dozen profiles,I was only attracted to maybe one or two!

I’m not sure if this is just in my area or if that’s just the way things are. Also,I got about 100 msgs the first day I joined POF. I only got 2 the first day I joined OC.

I made the profile in hopes that maybe I’ll get some more stories to write about,but nothing so far. It’s been pretty dead tbh. I probably won’t be on there much longer if things continue this way.

Don’t do it, Guys

I’ve been on POF for a few months now, and I’ve noticed that some things that SHOULD be common sense apparently aren’t. Guys put all kinds of things on their dating profiles that turn girls away, and then they wonder why nobody ever responds to their messages. In some cases, it may be that they just aren’t attracted to you. In that case, some natural lighting and bangin’ photoshop might do the trick. If not, I don’t know what to tell ya.

The truth is that online dating is alot like window shopping. We scroll through tons of profiles, clicking “No,” I would not like to meet you, until we come across someone who catches our eye. This may not always be due to your level of attractiveness, though.

I remember messaging a guy once because one of his pictures made me laugh. He was trying to be funny, and it worked! Anyone who can make me laugh with a picture or their first message is worth giving a chance to in my book, regardless of their physical appearance.

So in this post, I’d like to start with the pictures, since listing everything you shouldn’t do in one post would make for a VERY long post….

So here are the picture that you should DEFINITELY NOT post on your dating profile:

1. Well fuck you too!
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I don’t know why any guy would ever think that flicking girls off that you’re potentially trying to date is a good idea, but let me assure you, it’s not. You want us to answer your messages, yet your profile picture says “Fuck off.” And we’re the ones sending mixed signals…

2. Creepy shirtless caveman mathematician? I’d tap that.
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This was definitely one of the creepiest pictures I have ever seen. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a legit profile, judging from the picture and the information that was on the profile, but nonetheless makes my point. Staring creepily into the camera is never a good idea. It makes us feel like you’re staring into our soul, and in case you were wondering, we’d like to keep our soul to ourselves. Thank you.

3. Say cheeeeese!!
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Groups shots of you and your friends are cute,but not for your profile picture. We’re here to date you,not you and your friends. Also, if there’s a picture of all your friends,and then I go to your other pictures and I like your friend better, that should give me the right to message you and ask for his number. After all,you put him on a dating website. He should be up for grabs too! 😉

4. Guess what’s for dinner again?!
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As I mentioned in my previous post,we don’t want to see you with tonight’s dinner. No girl is going to look at this picture and go “OMG he killed a (insert animal here)!! He must be a great hunter and will provide for my family. I must marry him!” No guys…..just no. You and 50 other guys like to go fishin, muddin,and huntin. Get a little more creative. We’re not in 6500 BC looking for a big man to kill prey for dinner.

5. I own a car.
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Sometimes,it makes me wonder whether you guys are on there trying to impress men or women. I mean, you post a picture of your truck/car….or 2…or 3 pictures. You list your interests as fishing, muddin,and hunting. We don’t care! And to be quite honest,in some cases,I’d rather date your car than date you. Just a disclaimer: If your car looks better than you, it’s considered your competition. That’s one sexy son of a bitch,and you’re…well…not.

6. Smiling with my….niece.
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Kids don’t belong on a dating profile unless they are your own. If I see a profile picture of you with a kid,I will automatically assume it’s yours. And when I see that your profile says you don’t have kids, then you’re giving off the wrong impression. Sure,we’d like to see that you like kids,but not on your profile picture. And I can only imagine how upset the mother would be if she found out her little girl was plastered on a dating website with her great uncle Harry.

7. Shirtless AND downward angle! We’ve got a double wammy here folks!
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This guy hit 2 birds with one stone here. First of all, shirtless pics make you look like a douchebag jock. If you’re not going for that look,then don’t post half naked pictures of yourself. Especially if your body is BARELY a 5….just don’t do it. No,we don’t want to see your jelly rolls. Secondly, taking pictures from down below is not a flattering angle for anyone. It makes you look disproportionate and just highlights everything you don’t want highlighted. I see alot of guys doing this,especially with upclose pictures. No,we don’t want to see what’s up your nose,in case you were wondering.

Some advice? Take pictures from a straight on or even upward angle. Keep your clothes on. And would it kill you to smile?!

That’s all I have for you tonight guys. Hopefully you learned some things,and if you’re guilty of any of these pics,you should probably take them down. Just sayin.

I’d Smash

So as I was peacefully drifting off to sleep last night around 3am ( because I couldn’t sleep), my phone vibrated informing me of a new message from POF. I was curious, so I opened it up and inside was this wonderful message:

id Smash

Now, normally, I wouldn’t reply to this sort of message, but I thought it would make for a pretty entertaining post, so here’s the rest of the conversation:

I’d hit

why don’t you bring that talk to my house and (City) and hit then pretty lady

Sure, I’ll be right over.

haha yeah, if only you were telling the truth

And if only you weren’t

i swear if you came here I would lay it to you as much as you wanted im just not able to go to (My City)

Oh what a shame. I was hoping someone would “lay it to me” tonight.

yeah it is a shame because with that attitude, you need a good laying

I’m so glad you’ve looked into my laying schedule. I’ll be sure to pencil you in for next weekend.

haha im just joking don’t get your panties up in a wad pretty lady

Oh my panties are perfectly fine. Thanks for checking though.

your welcome, so how does a girl as gorgeous as yourself end up being single

Because of guys like you.

ohhhhhh burn, someones laying on the wrong side of the bed

I didn’t bother replying after that. It was 3:22am and I was tired. I don’t know what the point of all that was, but I guess I can’t expect much more than that at 3 in the morning. My hope in online dating is slowly deteriorating. And so is my hope for mankind. I mean seriously. No punctuation. No common sense. Is this what our generation has come to? Telling random girls on a dating website that you’d “smash?” So sad.

POF Pictures

This is dedicated to all the weird profile pictures I see daily on Plenty of Fish. I mean,why guys? Why?! Keep your dead catch, booze, and shirtless torso to yourself. We don’t wanna see it in your profile pic. Or in any pic for that matter…

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This is not 2013 B.C. We don’t need your dead deer pics to prove your manly worthiness. I prefer my meat cooked and on a plate, not drenched in blood and getting held by its horns.

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This was his PROFILE pic. This was his ONLY pic. Why!?

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Okay…profile pic. Can’t see your face. You look like you’re 12. and I get the “samurai look,” but was the ripped shirt really necessary? I guess if I ever needed a 12 yr old Samurai, I’d know where to look.

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Profile pic. The ONLY pic. I guess if I ever have a booze shortage, I know who to go to. Also, how would I know if you’re the right or left guy? Not that it would really matter.

And might I add, his headline was “Chase here really bout monii know games”

Omg, your grammar kills! Nice to know you’re “bout monii”…..what the hell is monii?! I don’t think I’ve heard that one before. And remember, know games. Because someone who is “bout monii” clearly is about know games. I rest my case. 

I saved the best for last….or the worst for last?

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This is either terribly photoshopped or sadly a reality. Where is your neck?…and aside from the neck-less pic, this was his profile pic and, again, his ONLY pic. 

Also, I’d like to share with you his ” About Me” section, because his picture was not the only thing wrong with this guy:

I’m not on here to hook up, so don’t even try. (No worries there. We won’t.) I don’t play no games either!!! (Ooo, three exclamation points. He must be serious about playing “no games.” At least he doesn’t “know games” like Chase.) So if you like to play games (other than elder scrolls series) Don’t bother!! I am on here with every intention to take babes to the boneyard. (I don’t think any babes will be going to the boneyard with you tonight.) I’m a total gym rat, if you couldn’t tell by the steamy pic. (Steamy? I guess that’s one way to put it…) If that bothers you then step aside and let me do what God put me on this earth to do, twerk. ( God…please don’t ever let this man twerk.) I also focus on strengthening and toning my neck. (Ahh, there it is. That explains it. Except…you seem to be missing the neck part.) The abs,those are included in the package. (I guess the neck didn’t fit in the package.) I have a down-blouse photo upon request. Boobs. (Nice touch at the end there. Real mature. I’m sure that’ll get the ladies swarming all over you.)

That’s all from my daily dose of POF tonight. And FYI guys, shirtless pics SCREAM douchebag! Don’t do it. If a girl wants to see you shirtless, she’ll let you know.